“You cannot fight the sea alone. So build a boat ;big or small, and travel its path to a beautiful beach.”

Anthony Aiser Ghattas

This post is in response to my post on August 22nd of 2019. A year ago just about where I wrote my first blog post. I re-read what I blogged and wow… This journey we all go through is something we normally get better and forget but for my I have documented it. The sadness and contrition with my own well-being shocked me when I gazed over the post. It is not sad to realize at this point how hurt and damaged I was but how proud of myself I am for coming into my own where I am now. Taking your life and flipping it in the other direction is one of the hardest things you can do as you progress. It doesn’t matter what happened but getting out of that cycle is just plain out difficult. You come to doubt yourself many times and have many battles with yourself but you will always finish the journey. If you told me a year ago I would be making more money than I ever have and ready to go and purchase a home… i’d just call you a liar. I would get angry at you and tell you to just mind your business because there is absolutely no way. I mean truly how can you see if you’re temporarily blind. Temporarily is the key word, blind by depression. It’s scary how strong something you create within yourself can manifest and control you. I can honestly say I have pushed this evil out of me. It took time, it took love and family, it took understanding with myself and being hard on myself, but it also took self love and restoration. I am down to a weight I haven’t been in a couple years. I have fixed health issues I have struggled with for years. I have started to pump some cashola into my bank account again. I have become someone I am proud of. The hardest part about change is just believing in yourself. So many things block your ability to believe and challenge it regularly but it is a fight you will always win as long as you get back up and try again. Thank you for this last year of struggling and emotional ebbs and flows and to my few readers thank you for just reading.